Become a better coach

Your best player is becoming frustrated because teammates aren't passing to them. They've started snatching at shots and criticising others.

What would you do?

• Tell the team to look for them more

  Quick fix, but it confirms the hierarchy and puts more pressure on teammates who are already hesitant. Use sparingly.

• Speak to the player about how they're reacting

  Important, but do it quietly and pair it with a question: 'What could you do to make it easier for them to find you?' Ownership beats a telling-off.

• Change the practice so finding them is rewarded

  Strong option. A bonus point for a forward pass into a teammate's feet coaches the whole group without singling anyone out.

• Give them a role that involves more touches

  Useful short term — playing as a floating player in possession games raises involvement — but don't let it become permanent special treatment.

During a match a parent constantly shouts instructions that contradict yours. Players are looking to the touchline instead of playing.

What would you do?

• Confront them at the time

  Rarely works. Emotions are high, players see the conflict and it becomes the story.

• Speak to them calmly after the game

  Best first step. Explain what you're trying to develop and give them a job: encourage effort, not instructions.

• Set expectations with all parents at once

  Very effective. A short message to the whole group depersonalises it and sets a standard for the season.

• Ask the players what helps them

  Powerful with older groups. When players say they'd rather hear encouragement, the message lands differently.

Ten minutes into your main practice, nothing is happening. The ball goes out constantly, players are queueing and the energy has gone.

What would you do?

• Push on and hope it settles

  Usually costs you the session. Ten more minutes of this and you've lost the group.

• Make the area bigger or smaller

  Often the whole fix. Too tight and nobody can play; too big and there's no pressure. Change one variable and restart.

• Split into two smaller practices

  Strong. Halving the numbers doubles the touches and usually removes the behaviour problems with the queue.

• Scrap it and go to a small-sided game

  Acceptable. Keep the theme by conditioning the game — you lose the practice, not the session.

A talented but anxious player passes backwards or sideways every time and won't try to beat anyone.

What would you do?

• Tell them to be braver

  Adds pressure without a route to change. They already know they're not doing it.

• Give them a private, specific challenge

  Excellent. 'Try three one-v-ones tonight — I don't care if you lose the ball' removes the fear of the outcome.

• Praise the attempt loudly when it fails

  Powerful for the whole group. It tells everyone what your environment actually rewards.

• Condition the game so risk is rewarded

  Two points for a goal after a dribble past an opponent. The rules give permission, so you don't have to.

Your squad has four confident players and six who are still learning to control the ball. Every practice is too easy for some and too hard for others.

What would you do?

• Split by ability every week

  Efficient but risky if it's permanent — the 'bottom' group knows exactly what it is. Rotate it.

• Differentiate inside the same practice

  Best default. Two-touch for the confident, free touches for the others, same game, nobody labelled.

• Use uneven teams and handicaps

  Great for games: 4v5, or the stronger team must complete five passes before scoring.

• Give individual challenges

  Simplest of all — everyone plays the same game with a different personal target.

A player who used to attend everything has missed three sessions in a row without explanation.

What would you do?

• Wait and see if they come back

  Most players who drift out never return, and they often just needed to be missed.

• Send a short, no-pressure message

  Best first move. 'We've missed you — hope everything's okay, you're welcome any time' with no guilt attached.

• Ask their friends in the squad

  Can help, but be careful — it can feel like the group is discussing them.

• Reflect on whether the sessions changed

  Worth doing honestly. Did their game time drop? Did the group get more competitive?

You've worked on playing out for a month, but in matches the goalkeeper hits it long every time.

What would you do?

• Insist they play short every time

  Develops the picture but ignores the game. Insisting in every situation teaches players to ignore what they see.

• Coach the movement, not the goalkeeper

  Usually the real problem. If full backs don't spread and the midfielder doesn't drop, there's nothing to play to.

• Practise it under match pressure

  Essential. An opposed build-up practice with a press is completely different from a passing pattern.

• Coach when to go long as well

  Mature approach. Playing out is a decision, not a rule — teach the trigger to skip the press.

Two teammates argue during a game and it spills into the rest of the session.

What would you do?

• Separate them for the rest of the session

  Calms it down but resolves nothing. Fine as an immediate step, not as the answer.

• Stop and address it with the group

  Only if it's a standards issue for everyone. Otherwise it makes two players the centre of attention.

• Speak to them together afterwards

  Strong. Two questions — 'what happened?' and 'what do you need from each other on Sunday?' — usually settle it.

• Put them on the same team next week

  Underrated. Shared goals repair relationships faster than conversations do.

You planned a session for sixteen. Eight players arrive, three of them are goalkeepers or defenders you weren't expecting.

What would you do?

• Run the plan with smaller numbers

  Sometimes fine, but many practices break completely below a certain number.

• Keep the theme, change the practice

  The right instinct. 4v4 with the same conditions delivers the same theme with more touches.

• Use the numbers as an advantage

  Eight players means far more repetitions per player. Treat it as an opportunity, not a problem.

• Ask the players what they want to do

  Occasionally great for buy-in — just keep one coaching theme in whatever they choose.

Parents are unhappy after four defeats. They want your strongest eleven playing every minute in their best positions.

What would you do?

• Play the strongest team to settle it

  Buys a quiet week and costs you the six players who stop developing — and often stop turning up.

• Explain your development plan clearly

  Essential. Parents accept far more when they understand what you're building and over what timescale.

• Share what progress looks like beyond results

  Very effective. Show what's improved: more forward passes, more players comfortable in possession.

• Involve players in the conversation

  With older groups, ask them what they want from the season. Their answer is usually 'to get better and play'.

Your U11s are 5-0 down against a much stronger team. Heads have dropped, two players are close to tears and one has stopped running.

What do you do at half time?

• Tell them the score doesn't matter

  Well meant, but they know it does. Better to acknowledge it honestly and then give them something to compete for.

• Set a second-half target of your own

  Strong option. 'Let's win the second half 1-0' or 'five forward passes into the striker' gives them a winnable game inside a lost one.

• Change shape to stop the bleeding

  Reasonable, but only if it's simple. A complicated reorganisation at 5-0 usually adds confusion to the disappointment.

• Rotate positions and give everyone a change

  Often the best development call. It resets the emotional picture and stops the same players carrying the blame.

After a game a parent approaches you, visibly annoyed, asking why their child was substituted twice and played at right back again.

How do you handle it?

• Answer fully there and then

  Rarely goes well. Emotion is high, other parents are listening and the player is standing next to you.

• Acknowledge it and arrange a call in the week

  Strongest option. It takes the heat out, gives you time to check your minutes data and shows you take it seriously.

• Refer them to the club's playing-time policy

  Useful supporting move if the policy exists and everyone has seen it, but on its own it can feel like a brush-off.

• Explain the development reason briefly, then move on

  Can work if you keep it to one sentence: 'He's playing full back this month to work on defending one-v-one.' Anything longer becomes a debate.

Ten minutes into your passing practice, nobody has lost the ball. Players are chatting and the intensity has dropped.

What's your first move?

• Add a defender

  Usually the quickest fix. Real opposition adds decisions, pressure and a reason to look up.

• Shrink the area

  Effective and instant. Less space means less time, which raises technical demand without changing the practice.

• Add a scoring system

  Good for engagement, but it changes motivation rather than difficulty. Combine it with space or opposition.

• Move on to the next practice

  Sometimes right, but you lose the repetitions. Progressing the same practice is usually more valuable than abandoning it.

One of your strongest players arrives fifteen minutes late to almost every session but always starts on Saturday. Other players have started commenting.

What would you do?

• Say nothing — it's grassroots

  Understandable, but the group is already watching. Silence sets the standard just as loudly as a rule would.

• Apply the same standard as everyone else

  Strong for culture. Whatever the consequence is for the group must apply here, or the standard doesn't exist.

• Find out why first

  Do this before anything else. Late often means a lift, a sibling or a job — the fix may be logistical, not disciplinary.

• Let the players agree the team standard

  Powerful with U13+. Standards the players set themselves are policed by the players themselves.

A U9 player runs with the ball every time, ignores teammates in better positions and gets upset when possession is lost.

How do you coach it?

• Tell them to pass more

  Rarely works and can knock the confidence out of a brave dribbler. The instinct to attack is worth keeping.

• Use a practice that rewards both

  Best option. A game where a goal after a combination counts double keeps the dribbling and adds a reason to look up.

• Ask questions after the moment

  Effective when specific: 'Who else was in the box with you?' beats a general instruction to share.

• Leave it — they're eight

  Partly fair; individual bravery matters at this age. But the emotional reaction to losing the ball is worth coaching now.

During a game your assistant shouts instructions that go against what you've been coaching all month — 'just clear it' while you're trying to play out.

What do you do?

• Say nothing during the game, talk after

  Sensible. Disagreeing in front of players and parents costs you both credibility, but the conversation must actually happen.

• Agree who talks and when

  Strong preventative fix. One voice during play, defined roles at half time, and both of you know the plan beforehand.

• Share the session plan in advance

  Often the root cause — assistants improvise because nobody told them the theme. A two-line message solves it.

• Give them a clear job on match day

  Very effective: subs, warm-up or one unit to support. Contradiction usually fills a vacuum.